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My cup is half full. I spun this to the husband as a good a reason to buy a small area carpet for right in front of the sink in the kitchen. We used to have one in that spot until I burned it with the hot rack from the oven.

I was cooking last night. I feel like I should get a snip of theme music and wear a Super Hero cape when I do this because it's such a "new" thing for me and it's such a masterful juggle of time and resources to really do it. I made roasted pork loin stuffed with apples and wine-soaked currants. The pork came out great. Then I reduced a wine-vinegar mix. The first reduction came out really really thick and syruppy, just like the recipe said. The second one went bad. It went VERY BAD.

My first clue was when my eyes started to tear and my nose stung from vinegar fumes. The house started to fill with smoke as I whipped the pot off the stove, swung around to the sink, mentally flashed to my recent egg-burning adventure (yes, there have been more egg burnings) and then changed course from flinging it into the sink to looking for a clear spot on the tile counter. There was none; cooking detritus and food stuff spread about. The pot started to burn my hands through one of the NEW oven mits I was wearing and Lizard Brain made me let go of pot.

I have a perfect circular burned area that is pretty close to perfectly centered on the checky pattern of the linoleum right near the sink. It looks like a black ink splotch with a box around it and a cross quartering it. How freaking anal is that?

However, vinegar-wine pot was still merrily sending out smoke and fumes, so I had to grab it again, race through house, get the sliding glass door and screen open, and fling it onto the deck. Then I ran around opening windows and turning on fans, desperately hoping the smoke alarm would NOT go off. Not because this would be the first time the neighbors have seen my house spew fumes from kitchen sacrafices with the background accompaniment of the smoke alarm to draw their attention just in case they were missing the show, but because they've never heard it after midnight before and that's absurdly rude. I also wasn't prepared to deal with waking up the whole family and "esplainin'" to my hubby what happened. I still hadn't absorbed what I'd done to the floor, so I wasn't ready to talk about how I've newly damaged something in the house. (I seem to be disaster prone.) And, yes, after the smoke cleared, I accepted what I'd done and the floor is definitely screwed up.

In the short term, I got lucky. I mean I got TOTALLY lucky. The smoke was so thick in the kitchen, it looked... smokey. I am very surprised the smoke alarm did not go off because last time I did smoke on that degree it went off. (Maybe we need to check the batteries!)

Maybe my cooking theme-music should be somewhat sinister, like when the bad guy enters. Or (sigh) kind of slap-stick. Dang it! I have to be like the 3 Stooges or Animaniacs in the kitchen. Phooey! I want to be the adept hero with beautiful flowing cape, not The Tick or Curly.

On the plus side: I didn't get hurt. I didn't wake up anyone and no one called 911 on our behalf, so the neighborhood was left in peace. The smell of the smoke did not linger through to this morning. The pile of fabric I'm folding in the family room (the kitchen opens into the family room) did not smell stinky this morning. The family was not disturbed. There is a burn in the floor, but there are a few pluses to that. When the floor gets wet, it's really really slippery, but that spot is now skid-proof. And this is motivation to visit "Bed, Bath and Beyond" with the discount coupons they keep mailing us and find a skid-proof area rug for that spot.

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threadwalker

August 2014

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