threadwalker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threadwalker) wrote2008-03-06 11:19 am
threadwalker) wrote2008-03-06 11:19 am
Entry tags:
Happy thoughts zipping around in my head
I am lucky. Even in the midst of feeling like I have no control and my life is spinning out of wack and I'm going to get my butt kicked by something, I know I'm lucky. I like it best when I "feel" lucky and I don't have to remind myself, but I always know it even if I'm not feeling it.
What really caught my brain this week was that I have a great partner. The hubby and I had a block of kid-free time to talk about life and work and dreams. Listening to him, it struck me how supportive he is. He makes me live in reality, which means we won't be selling all of our stuff and living out of an RV, but if it's not totally off the wall, he's open to talking about my dreams and discussing how we can make them become reality within the context of our lives. I feel very supported and I've had that support in various forms for half my life. My biggest wish right now is that he worked in town and didn't commute 4 hrs a day; he spends too much time away from his home and family and he's exhausted when he does come home. I could rant about that for hours, but it is what it is until something changes, so there's no point.
He's also been a great shoulder to lean on when I'm dealing with life-challenges. Normally he's right where I need him to be UNLESS he's stuck in the middle, which is about half the time. heh. When he's stuck in the middle, I either just internalize it or start burning up cell-minutes leaning on my friends. And when I come out of a flurry of crisis management, he's the one that preps the bubble bath and makes sure the candles are light (although I'd be a little more relaxed if he didn't use the stupid blow-torch each time... I keep thinking he's going to burn the place down). When I'm burned out, he takes the kids "out" so I can have down time to decompress. Or, if he can't take the kids out, he nudges me to go to the gym because, in his words, he knows how it helps me detox. When I'm struggling with "situations" at work, he provides me with good reality checks; he's especially good to talk to when I'm decoding a interpersonal conflict at work.
He's been incredibly supportive over the last year and a half as I've changed my lifestyle and approach to living. I take off at all hours to go to the gym and I go on long bike rides, which means he needs to take care of the kids alone. That's not a bad thing, but it means that running errands can be a long process and there are certain things he can't do while supervising the kids. I appreciate that and make sure he knows it. He also encourages me to go to the gym on week nights when I've missed a string of workouts; he will remind me that I need to make my saving throw against the sofa.
On the nutrition front, he will eat anything I cook. Both of us have some specific dietary restrictions, but as long as I work around that, he's happy with it. When I put a moratorium on junk food in the house, he was supportive and didn't complain too much; we did have to define junk food and eventually he even got behind it instead of just agreeing to it. The junk food has been allowed back in a little bit, but he needs to put it away and not leave open packages out, which is a habit change for him and he's working on it because he wants to support me.
We had some friction when I stopped going to Chinese restaurants and pizza places, but after discussion and some introspection on his part, he adjusted and agreed. He really enjoys eating out and when he has the urge for that stuff, he does it during the week either at lunch or, if he's working late, for dinner at work. And when we go out, we decide where we are going ahead of time and he frequently asks me if I will find something I can eat at whichever spot he suggests. He's always concerned that he's not sabotaging me.
And when I'm feeling low and feeling unmotivated to make good choices, he's very sweet about reminding me how hard I've worked. When I'm about to order Chocolate Death somewhere, he's very good at asking me if I really want to do that and he does it without seeming anything other than concerned for me.
And I love watching him with the kids. He can be tender or stern or funny or the instigator of a pillow fight. He takes their boo-boos seriously and when they have complaints or issues, he listens to them with the same attention that he listens to me. I love seeing the three of them sprawling in our bed at nap time on Sundays. And I love watching them assemble toys or "uncover" dinosaur bones. And sometimes, when I catch him watching me help the kids color, I realize that he's enjoying the moment from his perspective, too.
I feel so lucky.
What really caught my brain this week was that I have a great partner. The hubby and I had a block of kid-free time to talk about life and work and dreams. Listening to him, it struck me how supportive he is. He makes me live in reality, which means we won't be selling all of our stuff and living out of an RV, but if it's not totally off the wall, he's open to talking about my dreams and discussing how we can make them become reality within the context of our lives. I feel very supported and I've had that support in various forms for half my life. My biggest wish right now is that he worked in town and didn't commute 4 hrs a day; he spends too much time away from his home and family and he's exhausted when he does come home. I could rant about that for hours, but it is what it is until something changes, so there's no point.
He's also been a great shoulder to lean on when I'm dealing with life-challenges. Normally he's right where I need him to be UNLESS he's stuck in the middle, which is about half the time. heh. When he's stuck in the middle, I either just internalize it or start burning up cell-minutes leaning on my friends. And when I come out of a flurry of crisis management, he's the one that preps the bubble bath and makes sure the candles are light (although I'd be a little more relaxed if he didn't use the stupid blow-torch each time... I keep thinking he's going to burn the place down). When I'm burned out, he takes the kids "out" so I can have down time to decompress. Or, if he can't take the kids out, he nudges me to go to the gym because, in his words, he knows how it helps me detox. When I'm struggling with "situations" at work, he provides me with good reality checks; he's especially good to talk to when I'm decoding a interpersonal conflict at work.
He's been incredibly supportive over the last year and a half as I've changed my lifestyle and approach to living. I take off at all hours to go to the gym and I go on long bike rides, which means he needs to take care of the kids alone. That's not a bad thing, but it means that running errands can be a long process and there are certain things he can't do while supervising the kids. I appreciate that and make sure he knows it. He also encourages me to go to the gym on week nights when I've missed a string of workouts; he will remind me that I need to make my saving throw against the sofa.
On the nutrition front, he will eat anything I cook. Both of us have some specific dietary restrictions, but as long as I work around that, he's happy with it. When I put a moratorium on junk food in the house, he was supportive and didn't complain too much; we did have to define junk food and eventually he even got behind it instead of just agreeing to it. The junk food has been allowed back in a little bit, but he needs to put it away and not leave open packages out, which is a habit change for him and he's working on it because he wants to support me.
We had some friction when I stopped going to Chinese restaurants and pizza places, but after discussion and some introspection on his part, he adjusted and agreed. He really enjoys eating out and when he has the urge for that stuff, he does it during the week either at lunch or, if he's working late, for dinner at work. And when we go out, we decide where we are going ahead of time and he frequently asks me if I will find something I can eat at whichever spot he suggests. He's always concerned that he's not sabotaging me.
And when I'm feeling low and feeling unmotivated to make good choices, he's very sweet about reminding me how hard I've worked. When I'm about to order Chocolate Death somewhere, he's very good at asking me if I really want to do that and he does it without seeming anything other than concerned for me.
And I love watching him with the kids. He can be tender or stern or funny or the instigator of a pillow fight. He takes their boo-boos seriously and when they have complaints or issues, he listens to them with the same attention that he listens to me. I love seeing the three of them sprawling in our bed at nap time on Sundays. And I love watching them assemble toys or "uncover" dinosaur bones. And sometimes, when I catch him watching me help the kids color, I realize that he's enjoying the moment from his perspective, too.
I feel so lucky.
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