It's funny...things did change for me when I graduated from HS. (That was a couple of months after my 18th birthday.) I went, it seemed by magic, from strict curfews to telling my mother that I was taking *her* car to my boyfriend's house to spend the night. Her response tended to be "I need the car back by 9am."
On the other hand, I had by that time proven myself to be a good kid. I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't break laws/get arrested, I held down a job, and I'd gotten good enough grades to get into Stanford. I believe my parents were trying to prepare me for the soon-to-be case of college, when I would *not* be living under their roof and *would* have to make all my own choices.
I have some very definite issues with the way my parents raised me, and they did a few things badly enough wrong that they damaged me. But they weren't with the rules about letting them know where I was and having a curfew as a teenager. Nor the lessons in responsibility for myself and to the home in which I lived. Those things kept me safe and taught me how to be a self-sufficient adult.
Oh--and it wasn't the occasional spankings that damaged me either. I find those laws inane and ridiculous. The line between a disciplinary spanking and abuse seems pretty clear to me. Abuse should be illegal. Spankings should not. Duh. Could the government please get the *bleep* out of my house??
Nancy's attitude completely abdicates *her responsibility for the child she brought into the world.* I find that repulsive and pathetic, and all too common in the world today. (Not with most of my friends who are parents, happily.)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-11-28 08:37 pm (UTC)On the other hand, I had by that time proven myself to be a good kid. I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't break laws/get arrested, I held down a job, and I'd gotten good enough grades to get into Stanford. I believe my parents were trying to prepare me for the soon-to-be case of college, when I would *not* be living under their roof and *would* have to make all my own choices.
I have some very definite issues with the way my parents raised me, and they did a few things badly enough wrong that they damaged me. But they weren't with the rules about letting them know where I was and having a curfew as a teenager. Nor the lessons in responsibility for myself and to the home in which I lived. Those things kept me safe and taught me how to be a self-sufficient adult.
Oh--and it wasn't the occasional spankings that damaged me either. I find those laws inane and ridiculous. The line between a disciplinary spanking and abuse seems pretty clear to me. Abuse should be illegal. Spankings should not. Duh. Could the government please get the *bleep* out of my house??
Nancy's attitude completely abdicates *her responsibility for the child she brought into the world.* I find that repulsive and pathetic, and all too common in the world today. (Not with most of my friends who are parents, happily.)