Hi - I need to respond to the last comment first - that wasn't my husband, lol! That was one of my best friends and he and I were deeply involved in a private conversation when Edward came up. I think of him as a brother and he knows me very very well.
I'm glad there was no ill intent. My interactions with you and Uther have never been anything other than polite so based on that I had already assumed there were no intentions other than to find a good time.
I don't really have bandwidth for the high-school shenanigans in the SCA. I have a job that is directly involved in saving lives and improving the quality of life for children, so when I attend an event what I'm looking for is a relaxing time with friends in pursuit of exploring new ways of experiencing the best parts of the Middle Ages and Renaissance. I'm not inclined to spend a lot of time carrying social drama around in my head and letting it live there rent-free. So for me it's done and over. If I see him again I don't expect my interations with him to be colored by this and he doesn't strike me as the kind of person (based on his speeches in court) to be angsty. If there needs to be more communication for his sake I'll rely on you to specifically let me know.
Something you may want to consider sharing with him is that what I and others experienced was entirely based on what happened in the room and we are not privy to what happens 9 floor away. I had not been drinking at all that evening, so my perceptions are not fogged by alcohol or revelery. I had an unobstructed view of the door and it was either shoved or kicked in - which given that the doors are heavy, is what you'd have to do to make a dramatic entrance. Ed appears to be a dramatic guy and if there had been a party going on in full swing, it would have been a grand entrance. That's not really here nor there, but it's what happened.
Also, I work in a job that requires me to be keenly sensitive to body language, tone, and other non-verbal cues which are 93% of communication. His non-verbal signals were aggressive and dominating. His words were curt and he used his height (since I was sitting) to lean in and create tension. He choose to communicate in a way that was not based on mutual respect or based on a gentle approach. Whether it was conscious or not is irrelevant because non-verbal communication signals are a reflection of true intent. His language was entirely confrontational and, to be honest, any inclination I might have had to invite him to stay longer disappeared in the face of his aggression. Your company (and Uthers) would have been welcome to me, but not Ed who was using aggressive, domineering body language. It was entirely intimidating and I would not have felt at ease with someone who approaches a total stranger in that fashion. If he is surprised at the curt response he got, then a little time spent on his own part doing self-analysis of his communication style might be very revealing for him.
I consider the incident water under the bridge and I'm not letting it take up rent-free space in my head.
All that aside, thank you for taking the time to find my journal and for posting here. I appreciate that you had to set aside your Sunday afternoon/evening after a long and exhausting weekend where you were on-stage and under scrutiny the entire time. I'm sure the last thing you wanted to do was answer random phone calls and then log onto your computer to follow up on something like this. Even if you are an old-hand at this sort of thing by now, I have no doubt there's other ways you'd rather be spending your Sunday. So again, thank you for taking your personal time to follow up.
I hope your reign is as drama-free as possible. I look forward to seeing you at the next event we attend.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no hard feelings
Date: 2010-01-11 05:17 am (UTC)I'm glad there was no ill intent. My interactions with you and Uther have never been anything other than polite so based on that I had already assumed there were no intentions other than to find a good time.
I don't really have bandwidth for the high-school shenanigans in the SCA. I have a job that is directly involved in saving lives and improving the quality of life for children, so when I attend an event what I'm looking for is a relaxing time with friends in pursuit of exploring new ways of experiencing the best parts of the Middle Ages and Renaissance. I'm not inclined to spend a lot of time carrying social drama around in my head and letting it live there rent-free. So for me it's done and over. If I see him again I don't expect my interations with him to be colored by this and he doesn't strike me as the kind of person (based on his speeches in court) to be angsty. If there needs to be more communication for his sake I'll rely on you to specifically let me know.
Something you may want to consider sharing with him is that what I and others experienced was entirely based on what happened in the room and we are not privy to what happens 9 floor away. I had not been drinking at all that evening, so my perceptions are not fogged by alcohol or revelery. I had an unobstructed view of the door and it was either shoved or kicked in - which given that the doors are heavy, is what you'd have to do to make a dramatic entrance. Ed appears to be a dramatic guy and if there had been a party going on in full swing, it would have been a grand entrance. That's not really here nor there, but it's what happened.
Also, I work in a job that requires me to be keenly sensitive to body language, tone, and other non-verbal cues which are 93% of communication. His non-verbal signals were aggressive and dominating. His words were curt and he used his height (since I was sitting) to lean in and create tension. He choose to communicate in a way that was not based on mutual respect or based on a gentle approach. Whether it was conscious or not is irrelevant because non-verbal communication signals are a reflection of true intent. His language was entirely confrontational and, to be honest, any inclination I might have had to invite him to stay longer disappeared in the face of his aggression. Your company (and Uthers) would have been welcome to me, but not Ed who was using aggressive, domineering body language. It was entirely intimidating and I would not have felt at ease with someone who approaches a total stranger in that fashion. If he is surprised at the curt response he got, then a little time spent on his own part doing self-analysis of his communication style might be very revealing for him.
I consider the incident water under the bridge and I'm not letting it take up rent-free space in my head.
All that aside, thank you for taking the time to find my journal and for posting here. I appreciate that you had to set aside your Sunday afternoon/evening after a long and exhausting weekend where you were on-stage and under scrutiny the entire time. I'm sure the last thing you wanted to do was answer random phone calls and then log onto your computer to follow up on something like this. Even if you are an old-hand at this sort of thing by now, I have no doubt there's other ways you'd rather be spending your Sunday. So again, thank you for taking your personal time to follow up.
I hope your reign is as drama-free as possible. I look forward to seeing you at the next event we attend.
Ascelin