Old Married Farts
Jan. 28th, 2008 02:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threadwalkerYup, that's us. Celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary last weekend. The actual date was Jan 22. We started dating exclusively and with intent to determine compatibility almost 19 years ago this coming June.
And yet, we remember some of it like it was only a few months ago. And we revelled in those memories; the good, the bad, the awkward, the endearing, and those special ones that inspire couples to set boundaries. (E.G. I'm only allowed to use MY computer and never ever never touch his. And he is to never put the tupperware away unless he wants to see what happens when you seriously rock the world of someone who has OCD.) Oddly, we are greatful for the same things: that we had the good fortune to meet, the insight to realize that we wanted to find out more, the trust within to allow us to fall in love, and everyday both of us feels lucky that the other returns the love. Love without selfish intent. Love that is supportive and kind and patient.
And all of this was shared over seared ahi, the porter house for 2, garlic mashed potatoes, perfect asparagus, and Sin Chocolate cake (flourless choc.) at Ruth Chris steak house AND the kiddos were not there. Love, adult conversation, and good food... dang but that's some good stuff.
In other news, my biggest hobby (being a parent) is chugging along. (or is that a vocation?) I upped the chore load on the kids; they now fold the cleaned towels and put them away. They each get a quarter for each load and while they tried to whine their way out of it, it was explained that this was not optional unless they wanted ME to go on strike. The natives quelled and folding commenced. Cheapest house-help ever! They do not get any reward for putting their own clothes or toys away, but for this "communal help" they are. We (F and I) spent some time weighing this out and rewarded chores will be on a case-by-case basis. So far, a quarter for folding a load of towels is okie-dokie.
And I got to watch them work out some GREAT team work. E, being smaller, has a harder time getting towels up the stairs. So N carries them up while E stowes them. I listened to them work that out on their own and I was so proud. Of course, I had to restow the towels so they'd all fit, but I didn't have to fold or carry them upstairs.
Sunday they got to take their quarters to 31-Flavor and buy a scoop of ice cream. E doesn't really connect the chore to the money and then to buying something, but N does. This exercise is mainly for him, but since I can't arrange this sort of thing for just one of them, they are both involved. She'll catch on soon enough.
Saturday: I did hill intervals on the treadmill. Still sick, so only did my abs and a few other things in gym. My mom came over. Great visit. I draped Hawkgirl and had some quality chat-time with her; I miss spending time with my friends and having the chance to really, really talk.
Then pulled out the chore-project that I never want to do and always tell myself I must get around to doing: a linen chemise. Ugh. Give me a fitted doublet/bodice, crazy sleeves, hoops, or corsets any day over loose flowing garments or cloaks. I have no idea why, but the unshaped non-terraforming stuff just confuses my brain; I can't "see" the math.
Since I was hanging with my mom during her visit (minus our dinner/movie out), I reached for the chemise project as a hand project to dull the roar-of-babble Mom brings with her. I call it babble because it's all about people I don't know or I know them and I think they are utter idiots. (Idiots seem to latch onto my mom; IMO she's too approachable). Thus, with mom chatting in my ear about how Mrs X's daughter is getting divorced and has essentially walked away from her 4 kids and yells at them when she does see them... blah blah blah, I've started hand hemming all the chemise pieces before I assemble it.
I'm not sure, but it might have been when mom broached the drama in her brother's family the 3rd time that I decided I'd finish the sleeves with some fancy hem stitching. But there it is, I've started working on the most boring task in the world and thanks to my mom, it will probably be nicer than if I didn't spend the afternoon being 80% successful at biting my tongue. Sadly, I did not try to make progress on watching Babylon 5 - I would have gotten cranky when she talked over the great dialog.
And yet, we remember some of it like it was only a few months ago. And we revelled in those memories; the good, the bad, the awkward, the endearing, and those special ones that inspire couples to set boundaries. (E.G. I'm only allowed to use MY computer and never ever never touch his. And he is to never put the tupperware away unless he wants to see what happens when you seriously rock the world of someone who has OCD.) Oddly, we are greatful for the same things: that we had the good fortune to meet, the insight to realize that we wanted to find out more, the trust within to allow us to fall in love, and everyday both of us feels lucky that the other returns the love. Love without selfish intent. Love that is supportive and kind and patient.
And all of this was shared over seared ahi, the porter house for 2, garlic mashed potatoes, perfect asparagus, and Sin Chocolate cake (flourless choc.) at Ruth Chris steak house AND the kiddos were not there. Love, adult conversation, and good food... dang but that's some good stuff.
In other news, my biggest hobby (being a parent) is chugging along. (or is that a vocation?) I upped the chore load on the kids; they now fold the cleaned towels and put them away. They each get a quarter for each load and while they tried to whine their way out of it, it was explained that this was not optional unless they wanted ME to go on strike. The natives quelled and folding commenced. Cheapest house-help ever! They do not get any reward for putting their own clothes or toys away, but for this "communal help" they are. We (F and I) spent some time weighing this out and rewarded chores will be on a case-by-case basis. So far, a quarter for folding a load of towels is okie-dokie.
And I got to watch them work out some GREAT team work. E, being smaller, has a harder time getting towels up the stairs. So N carries them up while E stowes them. I listened to them work that out on their own and I was so proud. Of course, I had to restow the towels so they'd all fit, but I didn't have to fold or carry them upstairs.
Sunday they got to take their quarters to 31-Flavor and buy a scoop of ice cream. E doesn't really connect the chore to the money and then to buying something, but N does. This exercise is mainly for him, but since I can't arrange this sort of thing for just one of them, they are both involved. She'll catch on soon enough.
Saturday: I did hill intervals on the treadmill. Still sick, so only did my abs and a few other things in gym. My mom came over. Great visit. I draped Hawkgirl and had some quality chat-time with her; I miss spending time with my friends and having the chance to really, really talk.
Then pulled out the chore-project that I never want to do and always tell myself I must get around to doing: a linen chemise. Ugh. Give me a fitted doublet/bodice, crazy sleeves, hoops, or corsets any day over loose flowing garments or cloaks. I have no idea why, but the unshaped non-terraforming stuff just confuses my brain; I can't "see" the math.
Since I was hanging with my mom during her visit (minus our dinner/movie out), I reached for the chemise project as a hand project to dull the roar-of-babble Mom brings with her. I call it babble because it's all about people I don't know or I know them and I think they are utter idiots. (Idiots seem to latch onto my mom; IMO she's too approachable). Thus, with mom chatting in my ear about how Mrs X's daughter is getting divorced and has essentially walked away from her 4 kids and yells at them when she does see them... blah blah blah, I've started hand hemming all the chemise pieces before I assemble it.
I'm not sure, but it might have been when mom broached the drama in her brother's family the 3rd time that I decided I'd finish the sleeves with some fancy hem stitching. But there it is, I've started working on the most boring task in the world and thanks to my mom, it will probably be nicer than if I didn't spend the afternoon being 80% successful at biting my tongue. Sadly, I did not try to make progress on watching Babylon 5 - I would have gotten cranky when she talked over the great dialog.
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