on flirting

[threadwalker]

What is flirting? Is it flirting if you have no intent for romantic activities? Can a woman be jovial with men without sexual tension? Or at least without men automatically measuring her?

As a woman, how do you work with men and be "light hearted and friendly" without being a flirt? Is it possible? I've been working almost solely with men for my entire career and I've never thought about this before.

I'm outgoing and friendly. I crack jokes and mock/tease my co-workers. All of my coworkers are men and I feel like one of the guys. So would other women think I'm flirting? Would men? Or does the male perspective depend on whether they are "in" the joking zone or viewing it from outside?

I'm curious.

Comments

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

I consider myself an "Expert" on the subject of flirting and honestly, it is ALWAYS something that can be misconstrued. A good example of this is the Vainglorious Chihuahua. Most people know I am a huge flirt, but if you don't know someone well, they can perceive it as a come-on... regardless of how it was intended.

That said, joking with the guys and just being friendly is so benign. I wouldn't call it flirting.

Flirting usually means comments with some type of sexual innuendo, or a lot of touching your hair and body while talking. Tilting your head up and looking someone directly in the eye or being within an intimate distance. These things are flirty thing that I doubt happen much on the job.

[callistotoni.livejournal.com]

I've never had the flirting issue come up at work, ever, and I've been working in my industry for 20 years (an environment of mostly men). I think the fact that the dress is a-sexual (mostly jeans and kakie's (sp?)) helps, as does the fact that with my hair in its usual braid and glasses I look like a very un-sexy librarian. I act just like the guys at work, it's true (including swearing, how I hold my body, and how I respond in meetings) -- long years of habit.

Of course, I'm the world's worst flirt anyway. I'm trying to get better at this (outside of work, of course).

[dame-cordelia.livejournal.com]

Your work behavior sounds like you are being "one of the guys" at least most of the time. Joking together and teasing are usually fine as long as there aren't meaningful looks and body language that makes people aware of the fact that they are of different sexes.