My Turn

[threadwalker]

So it's my turn to be broken.

All my apprentices, students and several of my good friends have been gimpy, limpy, tight-lunged, or experiencing some sort of chronic flare-up.

And I was feeling guilty because I have no such thing! I'm definitely over the guilt.
For more whining...

I hurt myself on Friday. I was gleefully running on a treadmill for the first time in over four years. Saturday I couldn't put my weight on my left foot. The entire sole of my left foot is in excruciating pain. I have a doctor's appointment today and a temporary handi-capped placard for work. (so that I won't have to hop-hobble the 4-5 city blocks to my office from the parking lot again this week).

Sunday I got a migraine. My migraines are wretched and start with vision loss in one or both eyes. When my vision comes back the pain goes from "ouch" to excruciating. If I don't take massive amounts of pain killers before my vision clears up, I'm stuck with the migraine regardless of what I take. And they really hurt - I go barricade myself in a dark room with an indirect fan on because it hurts to have anything touch my skin, even heat. I'm glad I don't get them very often anymore. Yesterday it hit around 1 pm while I was in Costco with Moth Squire. Since I lost the vision on my right side, it means the pressure was on the left, which is also why I lost the ability to speak coherently and to read while in Costco. I was very lucky to have Moth Squire there because Green Cat Mama gets these types, too, so he's familiar with the drill. Being my own stubborn self, I was determined to finish my Costco shopping because I figured I wouldn't get home in time for painkillers anyway and maybe I was also hoping it would just clear up on its own.

Hhahahahha! Fat chance hoping for that.

So there I was pointing at boxes and Moth Squire was reading them to me. If it was what I needed, it went into the cart. My vision cleared up and the migraine hit me full blast while we were in line to check out. On the good side, I could see again so I could drive us back to my place. It also meant that I could write to fill out the check I needed to write. On the bad side, I was done for the day. Feh!

I always feel so pathetic and weak when I get a migraine. They are usually stress induced, although once I had one that was caffeine induced (as in I was going through withdrawl). I'm not sure what was going on yesterday.

On the downside, I missed a baptism. Baptisms are pretty important events and I'm sad I didn't make it.

But wait - I have something new to feel guilty about. My nephew in Viriginia has been diagnosed with autism. He'll be 2 in June. They aren't sure which flavor yet, but I had a very deep conversation with my sister on Saturday and was overcome with her struggle. I never take how lucky I am for granted and when something like that hits so close to home, it makes me nod my head because I really do take the time everyday to be appreciative for what I have.

And since I'm Catholic, I feel really guilty that my sister is suffering. I think I'll do a little research on the topic and see if I can channel that guilt into something constructive.
I'm such a whiner! Back to the salt mines.

Comments

[fighter-chick.livejournal.com]

You're not weak and pathetic. You're unwell, physically. It's different. Or at least so I've been told. ;)

But seriously...take care of yourself. Be nice to yourself. Feel better soon.