Super Power "Organize and Clean": Activate!!

[threadwalker]

Location: Garage

Dear Diary,

Today the beloved spouse asked me to help him clean out and organize the garage. At first I was unthrilled because it was his stuff, his mess, and I'm not keen on cleaning up after the cutest pack-rat in the world. And not just a pack-rat, but Mega-Extreme Pack Rat of Infinite Level of Experience with Defense Bonus against "Wife on Cleaning Mission" and Supreme Skill Set for "Backfill with Vengeance"... because those clean areas become jam full of stuff in no time flat.

We have dueled for decades. Litterally.

Then it dawned on me. "Invited to clean the garage" and "need my skills" were the phrases that were used. I cackled like a mad woman, racing to change into my Super Suit. Less than 5 minutes later I had my Suit of Garage Spelunking and +5 Trash Bags of Infinite Compression. I was ready to bring Order to Chaos!

An hour later...

Me, "What's this?" Waving chunk of wood.

Him, "That's mine, put it down."

Me, walking towards trash bag, "Doesn't look like it improves the quality of your life. I don't think you even knew you had it."

Him, "Ack! Woman! Give that to me!" and races over to grab it.

Me, trying to fight off his longer reach, "Nooooo! You are inhibiting my super powers. You are preventing me from bringing Order to Chaos."

Him, "give (grunt) it (grunt) to (grunt) me!" (We both note that my improved health has boosted my ability to resist!)

Me, "Nooooo.. what good is it anyway?"

Him, now with hands on chunk of wood, "It's Oak Laminate and I might make something with it."

Me, watching him walk away with chunk of wood, "Make? You don't "make." Your power is "pack rat" and "foil spouse", not "make". Humph. You are messing with my powers. Are you sure you're not really a villian master mind in disguise?"

Him, successfully putting wood out of my reach until I dig out the ladder, smiles, "You're so cute. I'm so glad you're out here helping me."

Smoochies.

My mom peaked in at one point (F was off on a dump run). She complimented us on how good it looked and I burst forth with a mad-genius laugh of great magnitude. I couldn't help it. Then she cackled with glee. Both of us stood there laughing and cackling for several minutes. No, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in some regards. Then she invited me to come over to her place right before X-mas to help prep for visitors. (Indeed, and I'll have my trusty trash backs and a truck for dump runs and a 2nd paper shredder!)

8 hours later, we've made 2 dump runs and much progress. I'm shredding billing statements that go back to 1999... yes, no shit, almost 10 years old. I mentioned his super-power was Pack-Rat? (Found a b-day card w/ $$ and decided that was my reward for patiently openingn every envelope!) Although he really needs to stop getting into new "games". Between Pirates, Hero Clix, the role playing stuff, the props for Steam Punk, etc and all the other stuff out there, his power of pack-rat is exceeding the maximum capacity of the garage. I'm going to try and Craig-list all our strollers and stuff between now and 12/20. Whatever I can't sell goes to Goodwill. I'm done storing that stuff for the next random person who might have a baby.

At the end, where everything was returned to the garage, we surveyed our awesomeness. Woot. We rocked. Then Beloved Spouse leans over, "I hear that women are turned on by men who clean," and raised just one eyebrow.

Me, *blink*. "Indeed, you are correct. Men who clean, cook and have minty breath. Those are all sure-fire winners."

Fortunately, there is more opportunity for cleaning, too.

Yes.... much headway has been made. And I've made a mental list of the other stuff that I will target on our next purge. He thinks he wants to keep it but I'm pretty sure that in 8-10 months he'll have forgotten it exists. If he doesn't remember he has it, he can't miss it... muh ha ha!

Comments

[xrian.livejournal.com]

You can come up and exercise your super-powers on *my* garage anytime. I am trying not to grow up to be the Crazy Cat Lady living in a house full of old newspapers, but it's a struggle!

(In my case, I don't think I'm an incurable pack rat -- just haven't trained myself to spend energy on maintenance on a regular basis.)

[stragoi.livejournal.com]

You are teh funny. There is always more room for steampunk.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

heh... Funny is my cure for almost everything.

More room for steampunk? Humph. He has so many gadgets and gee-gaws that he's accumulated for costume props, it blows me away. IF he gets the Garage Of Infinite Storage and Gnomes of Advanced Organization, I might agree with you...

Or I might just help him make room by retiring his goth vampire stuff or his Sci Fi props. If he doesn't remember he has it, he can't miss it, right?

;-D

[helblonde.livejournal.com]

Too funny

My darling has been preparing to "clear out his computer stuff" from the garage for five years at least.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

hahha! This was a task that we've constantly rescheduled for at least 5 years. I totally understand. I'd written it off as "never gonna happen" and suddenly he got a bee in his bonnet.

heh. Garage pack rats are so cute.

[lifeofglamour.livejournal.com]

If he doesn't remember he has it, he can't miss it... muh ha ha!

I see we employ similar methods with our powers.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

heh... it's a great method. I use it on the kids, but sometimes it backfires. They have the most unexpected memories sometimes.

[klwilliams.livejournal.com]

Your superhero power is clearly Awesomeness.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

Why thank you. I think you give me too much credit, but after an exhausting weekend of cleaning and a massive bike ride, I need all the kudos I can get. Cuz today, at work, I'm not Awesomeness. I'm "she who did not get her work done and needs to go explain it to the Man."

:-P