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threadwalkernom nom nom
I <3 Costco.
This 5-minute break from my grueling day brought to you by a time-out so that I don't go postal or say something I'll regret. Because when I'm under extreme stress I sometimes I forget where I am and I say exactly what I think. In fact, I popped off last Friday at a managers meeting and rocked several (highly paid) people with my opinion of their database. I may be a white belt in "how to get along with managers", but I'm a black belt in sarcasm.
Today's stray thoughts brought to you by some on-going introspection: Work Hard = Play Harder
My job is intense. I miss the days where everyone thought I was a dumb bunnie and I could "bum dummie" around. I had time to autocrat events, navel gaze, take long lunches, and shop on line. Stress was present, but it didn't keep me awake at night or hit the degree where I'd freak out.
Those days are gone. I totally understand from the inside out why people who work so hard that they can't stop to breath are then driven to play just as hard. Maybe it's the same "driver" that makes working hard possible and it just manifests differently during non-work hours. I also know that I need to "feel" that all that work is for something other than just surviving day to day and if work is going to suck my energy and make me a little numb, then I need something that's intense enough to overcome that numbness or I won't feel it. Like following a super spicey meal with a super sweet dessert; after jambalaya that's done right my taste buds wouldn't detect anything subtle.
Hence
Bike riding up and Mt Diablo.
Pushing my running to the edge of injury.
Skiing down sheets of ice on Black Diamonds.
Running around with 2nd graders.
Staying up all night and "doing" stuff.
And why I'm no longer good at
stopping and watching bugs crawl around the lawn,
sitting quietly (not counting when I've fallen asleep)
purposeless reading for the pleasure of reading (i.e. not researching)
watching TV or Playing Computer games w/o a hand project going at the same time
I've lost the ability to navel gaze and to chill out. Even when I look like I'm navel gazing or chilling out, I'm probably planning my next move.
I'm not sure if I've lost something or if I've evolved. Or maybe I slid sideways and found a different track. I wouldn't say I'm unhappier, although I wouldn't mind being paid the same for doing less work. (Wouldn't we all?) And I really enjoy that sense of being a key team player, which seems to go hand-in-hand with extremely busy work.
There... that was my token navel gazing. Mental thread to be resumed on home-bound commute or over lunch w/ HRJ.
I <3 Costco.
This 5-minute break from my grueling day brought to you by a time-out so that I don't go postal or say something I'll regret. Because when I'm under extreme stress I sometimes I forget where I am and I say exactly what I think. In fact, I popped off last Friday at a managers meeting and rocked several (highly paid) people with my opinion of their database. I may be a white belt in "how to get along with managers", but I'm a black belt in sarcasm.
Today's stray thoughts brought to you by some on-going introspection: Work Hard = Play Harder
My job is intense. I miss the days where everyone thought I was a dumb bunnie and I could "bum dummie" around. I had time to autocrat events, navel gaze, take long lunches, and shop on line. Stress was present, but it didn't keep me awake at night or hit the degree where I'd freak out.
Those days are gone. I totally understand from the inside out why people who work so hard that they can't stop to breath are then driven to play just as hard. Maybe it's the same "driver" that makes working hard possible and it just manifests differently during non-work hours. I also know that I need to "feel" that all that work is for something other than just surviving day to day and if work is going to suck my energy and make me a little numb, then I need something that's intense enough to overcome that numbness or I won't feel it. Like following a super spicey meal with a super sweet dessert; after jambalaya that's done right my taste buds wouldn't detect anything subtle.
Hence
Bike riding up and Mt Diablo.
Pushing my running to the edge of injury.
Skiing down sheets of ice on Black Diamonds.
Running around with 2nd graders.
Staying up all night and "doing" stuff.
And why I'm no longer good at
stopping and watching bugs crawl around the lawn,
sitting quietly (not counting when I've fallen asleep)
purposeless reading for the pleasure of reading (i.e. not researching)
watching TV or Playing Computer games w/o a hand project going at the same time
I've lost the ability to navel gaze and to chill out. Even when I look like I'm navel gazing or chilling out, I'm probably planning my next move.
I'm not sure if I've lost something or if I've evolved. Or maybe I slid sideways and found a different track. I wouldn't say I'm unhappier, although I wouldn't mind being paid the same for doing less work. (Wouldn't we all?) And I really enjoy that sense of being a key team player, which seems to go hand-in-hand with extremely busy work.
There... that was my token navel gazing. Mental thread to be resumed on home-bound commute or over lunch w/ HRJ.
