Unfiltered

[threadwalker]

Unfiltered like usual because, IMO, once you post it here it might as well be unfiltered. The only stuff I filter is work-related just in case one of my erstwhile colleagues is skimming LJ for key words.

Cut for your protection. Unfiltered opinions.

Work is not fun, which is why we call it work. There's a lot of BS at work and I bring my game face most days. I don't mistake work as a place where we brush each other's hair and plan potlucks, so I try to be prepared for the politics and the egos.

Why do I have so much trouble with that in the rest of my life? Because I don't expect to have to have a game face when I'm with friends and doing my "fun" stuff.

I think the current state of the "arts" in the West Kingdom is super-callous-fragile-suspiscoius-expel-us-out-eedoshus. It pisses me off when I think about it.

1. Cancelling a Kingdom Collegium? I cry. Autocratting Collegium is a job that requires project management skills and the ability to draw people in. I've done it so I can speak to that. But I'm not finger pointing at the autocrats, I'm pointing my finger at the arts community. Its your event; step up and own it. I spent years helping or autocratting these events and they reflect the community they serve. However, I'm not surprised that the event has withered; this is what happens when the community doesn't come together. Everyone is empowered to make this event better, you need to open your eyes, have some passion and step up. Here's an example: Mari and her crew offered to organize a library at one of the one's I held. They came to me, had the idea, the tools, the books, the copier and even organized it as a fund raiser; the coins they collected for using the copier/scanner were donated to underwrite the event. All I had to do was say "wow, that's cool. Here's a room you can have all day."

How important is Collegium to the community and what are YOU going to do to make it better?

2. I heard rumors the K/Q were thinking of lowering the bar on the Golden Poppy. I was pretty pissed off about that as well; HRJ was a patient ear for my fury. What's the point of having something challenging to do if you're going to dumb it down so that it's no longer a challeng?. I couldn't think of a good analogy to help the fighter-centric culture wrap their eric-party-warped brains around at first. However, the opportunity for "new" Kings has withered away, so lowering the bar for becoming a Duke by winning a single Crown or even a Coronet isn't all that different than lowering the bar for earning the Golden Poppy. So why don't we just dumb everything down and make it accessible to everyone. Then, when we're all special, no one is special. I'm so freaking pissed off about this that I've been toying with sponsoring my own arts event/activity. Like Lodema used to. grrrr.... We'll see... June Crown is a good time for sunshine and arts.

So what am I going to do?

I unsubscribed from SCA West shortly after Eilis and whats-his-name stepped up. Its a source of angst and I don't want angst in my life.

I serve the Kingdom, not these people who are sitting on the throne. I spent a lot of time thinking about that and what it means to be a peer. I'm not quitting; I am a peer regardless of my fealty to the K/Q. However, I cannot support them personally and cannot bring myself to respect them, so I no longer consider myself in fealty to them, just to the Kingdom. This was a hard process for me because I've been in fealty to a lot of jerks who've sat on those thrones without being pushed to this point. They have done too many wrongs.

I have been refocusing on MY arts. I'm pulling together an outline for a class and a work shop on late Italian Ren clothing and clothing embellishment. I'm doing research and testing my theories with finished projects right now. I offered something similar to the West a few years ago, but they were uninterested, so I'll float a class proposal to IKINs next year in order to teach in at IKINs the following year in Caid (2011).

I'm sorting out my encampment stuff to make it easier for me to camp with the kids next year based on the assumption that F will continue to work weekends at the least opportune time. Flying light, but effective.

Instead of relying on the Royals to leave their clumsy mits off the areas of West Kingdom Arts that I like, I'm just going to do my own thing regardless which is to promote arts, to teach and to learn.

I'm percolating on working through the guilds (as long as they, too, haven't been disbanded).

I've been thinking about organizing a small collegium, though I'm not sure if it would be an SCA event or a private "arts day" of classes. I'm very jaded with the SCA politics so the potential hurdles of having to deal with sucking up to someone's ego to get permission to organize something I've done successfully before would just piss me off. I'd either need the green-light for my blue print from someone who trusts me or it would have to be private.

I am working on my "class in a bag", which is a concept I floated to my apprentices. Basically I'm putting together a class outline and kits/hand-outs that I can take to events and teach on a moment's notice.

I have some other ideas percolating, but I need to see how my class shapes up and how camping works out this year.

Comments

[hunrvogt.livejournal.com]

I really like that you have identified that this is an "arts community" issue in that the solution needs to come from the arts community. Along those lines if you do a small collegium or specialty event, I would really encourage you to have it open to the SCA as a whole. Run it through a local group or something.

Increasingly I see folks drawing inward. While I think that lets you create a really strong sub-group, I fail to see how that strengthens a greater community.

[beanolc.livejournal.com]

Increasingly I see folks drawing inward. While I think that lets you create a really strong sub-group, I fail to see how that strengthens a greater community.

I agree with this 100%.

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

That depends on what you consider the "greater community"... You could say the SCA is comprised of many sub groups that make up the greater community. Healthy and active sub groups are a vital part of the SCA (IMO).

I give to the "Greater Community" on a pretty regular basis and yet feel pretty disenfranchised and unappreciated. Should I be giving more? Should my friends pretend that everything is awesome? I am uncomfortable with a suspension of the thought and reasoning process that reduces fealty to fealty = if someone wants to poop on the Kingdom I should bring that individual a fiber bar.

[sirst.livejournal.com]

Hah! I love the phrasing.
I agree the sub-groups are vital. To my thinking the trick is to not get so focused on your own sub-group that you stop paying attention to where you poop.

[hunrvogt.livejournal.com]

This is where you can tell I've spent too many years around the edges of academia. Sub-groups and study groups are great. Basic research is vital...where it becomes a waste in an public policy/academia sense is when the knowledge is not extended back to the general population. Contemplating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin is poor use of funding dollars.

Now to apply that to the greater SCA - we are by and large a social organization. Groups getting together to study narrow interest areas is fine even desirable. Hopefully, that sub-group then takes that knowledge and extends it back to the populace at large, in the form of classes, entertainment, service, material goods, and/or general ambiance.

I've seen the aftermath of drawing inward when you feel maligned. Remember I started in the SCA as a fencer before I moved to the West. I came here about 3 years after the ban was lifted. In rapier, this response to marginalization was viewed as "using" the greater community for insurance and infrastructure.

Further marginalization as a sub-group when you feel aggrieved can create weird disconnects from the larger culture. Focus is fine. Exclusion and being seen as a drain on resources is bad.

I think the arts might be a further example. Narrowing the focus of Collegia was in part a response to the idea that "the arts community" was getting lost in the noise at larger events. Unfortunately as the focus tightened, the larger culture responded by decreasing attendance. This decreased attendance became a habit. Now we are looking to reinvigorating the wheel.

Ultimately in the game, the only lasting power we have is to play or not the way we think we should. We have no control over the actions of others. As with everything free will and choice are not checked at the gate.

I believe your particular case is unique. I understand why you feel under appreciated. I do however see your case as being separate from the Collegium issue or the Golden Poppy issue or the pan-global-arts issue, which were what I was addressing as that was what the original post was addressing as I read it.

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

I think for you they may be separate, but for many of my friends and family... it is growing increasingly difficult to feel motivated to give and participate "officially" where it is clear the people in power are clumsily bungling what you care about... or simply don't understand or care. Was it supportive of the Golden Poppy competition to banish a viable participant? You may see that as inconsequential, but not everyone does. Was it supportive of the arts to banish someone who is holding regular A&S classes and activities? I hate to sound pouty (LOL) and obviously I am still doing my thing... but if my activities go offline (the fighter practice will remain a household one; it will not revert back to "official" when my banishment is over) it is because this Crown has clearly shown distain for my contributions. The Crown, directly thru their behavior towards me (and the Golden Poppy and Collegium managment), has turned some people off of to participating in an "official" capacity by seemingly showing a pattern of disinfranchising people who care and are capable of doing the dirty work.

I don't feel I am personally a drain on resources without giving back in many ways when I can. I also think the Rapier community (at least since I've been playing) is willing to make contributions and be helpful as well.

[hunrvogt.livejournal.com]

I yield.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

I think that not every model fits into anyone's theory. There are always examples and exceptions to every situation. It would be impossible to find the one-true model that fits the SCA-situation because models seem to be based on assuming reasonable behaviour. I think we all tend to think of ourselves as reasonable, but all of us live in rooms of one-way mirrors and not everyone looking in at us will see what we see. Plus, we have no idea how people are reacting until they start to react openly. I'm only saying that because my definition of "reasonable behavior" and your definition might be similar, but we don't always see others exhibiting the same. So when I hear that someone's changing the Golden Poppy, that seems very unreasonable to me, and yet it may/will happen and I have to throw aside social models and figure out what I'm going to do in my room of one-way mirrors. (Or is that my padded cell?)

I'd like to thank you for your posts because thinking about what we say after someone else reacts is just as important as having our say in the first place.

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

LOL no yielding necessary! Healthy debate amongst friends is never a bad thing... I totally understand your perspective is different from mine and thank god... if everyone was feeling as disenfranchised as I do... it would not be a good thing. I am truly hoping it's just a passing phase for me.

[hunrvogt.livejournal.com]

No worries. I am a huge fan of healthy debate, but I don't want to leave you feeling hurt. We'll work it out some other time over sausage and wine when folks feel less raw.

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

You are far to made of awesome to leave me feeling hurt, but I appreciate the sentiment :)

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

I think that we need to embrace diversity. It's okay to have a "sub-group" who's interested in something and if there's a way for them to share it with the community as a whole, that's great. But if the community as a whole (e.g. the Powers that Determine who gets on court schedule, who gets eric space or who can set up a display table at 12th night) is not interested in partaking or in "hosting" a sub-group (which I like to think of as "subject-focused"), then it's also acceptable to pursue it in a manner that you can. If it means holding an afternoon of music classes in your personal pavilion, in your back-yard or at the local community center, then it's no ill reflection on the subject-focused people who can't get air-time anywhere else.

Personally, "withdrawing" is not an option to me. I may fall back, regroup, and experiment with effective formats, but I'm commited to plunging back in. The development of the useful format may require some behind the scenes testing, or seeking events outside the WK if I can't find the venue here (e.g. the costuming class I couldn't pimp to save my life a few years ago), but I'm not really wired to withdraw from anything.

[hunrvogt.livejournal.com]

Well, when you want a place to host a class, let me know. I know of a cute little shire that has money in the bank and folks interested in Italians.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

deal

[kaar-insurance.livejournal.com]

I'm currently tired (in many ways and for a couple of reasons). Kinda falling back and regrouping myself. Still working on projects promised (even to those from whom I am - though I still love them - falling back) and still socializing with friends with whom I would socialize if I were at events. Just not doing much *officially*.

It's all good. I'll be back in force someday.

Especially if you teach an Italian class! Then I can finish the Italian you helped me start back when Eliska and Fabian reigned. (It's still in pieces. Oh geez. That's embarrassing to admit!)