And there it is

[threadwalker]

Parenting.. Just when you think you've got a grasp on it.

Super N got in a fight yesterday AND today. In one case totally his fault and a result of his lack of impulse control when he was mad. In the second, he was retaliating, the other kid escalated and got a friend involved, and Super N continued to fight back after he was outnumbered. It shouldn't surprise me given who his parents are that he didn't back down when he was outnumbered. But still... . argh. There is punishment. One of the things is that he will have to fill a box with his prescious toys and I'm donating them to charity. F thinks it's harsh and commented that he (F) wasn't sure he could do that and that I was harder than him. But I shared my perspective: I'd throw away every toy, game, and gadget in his room if it meant I never have to go to the morgue to ID his body because he didn't back down from the wrong gang punk. From my fear comes my strength.

Miss E has been hiding at recess because two boys have been continuing to pick on her for weeks now because she made a mistake on the playground at school. They delight in embarrassing her and reminding her of her mistake and in telling others while she can overhear. She even got herself sent to the nurses office on Monday saying her tummy hurt; the nurse called me and relayed that Miss E had commented she was glad she missed recess. That was the cincher for me because, being the alert mom, I've been piecing together that all is not well is the land of Miss E and tonight I finally got the whole sordid tale of first-grade drama. It's horrible to be holding your sobbing child and being unable to console them because they know you can't be there to protect them from bullies; she feels alone, scared and helpless on the school yard. She sobbed in my arms about how mean these boys are and when I was surprised because of how I've seen her stand up to Super N, she cried harder and said they were meaner than Super N. She was crying so hard, I couldn't tell what she was saying at times, but she did squeak out that everyone should just be nice and try to help each other instead of being mean. Tomorrow I'm calling her teacher to see if she can intercede and/or offer suggestions. I also promised I would drive from work to Miss E's school to talk with these kids, their teacher and Miss E's teacher if it didn't get sorted out. She cried harder (!) because in her eyes it was now going to be public and everyone would know of her "shame". Imagine my surprise at how driven she was to hide her "shame" from everyone. Now I'm afraid of what she might want to hide from me when she's older and the possiblities for making mistakes can be so much worse. Yikes... I'm going to have nightmares tonight. So I pinkie promised that it would be handled "discreetly" and not in public. (I had to explain what "discreetly" meant). And I made her pinkie promise to tell me sooner next time. I told her that mommy was smart, tough, sneaky and experienced at dealing with meanies and bullies. She wrapped herself around me and sighed into my shoulder. She said that I was the best mommy ever. (Then she added, bizarrely, that I'd even be the best mommy ever even if I died... I gave her a "look" and she said it was even better that way because no matter what, no new mommy could ever be better than me. Imagine my response.. what I did was I told her I wasn't planning on leaving a vacancy. Kids are so weird. I hope she's not holding auditions for my replacement.)

All this on the heals of a really aweful afternoon which was capped off when I addressed one manager in a room of managers and saying, "I'm leaving at 4pm. I'm not working overtime to review your report. If you left it at my desk after I left for lunch, then I suggest you go get it and bring it to me because I'm scheduled solid from 1pm to 4pm. And since I got in before 7am, I'm leaving straight from my last meeting to my car. Otherwise, you can wait until tomorrow." That was QUITE sassy given who the audience was. Was it "aggressive" or "assertive"? It wasn't ranty, so it probably depends on how comfortable the listener is with plain honesty. The manager sent his report writer zooming off to my desk to get the report because it really was THAT important. And since I was determined to throw myself off the cliff, I followed THAT up with, "Let's all be clear about expectations. I generally get here before 7am. I leave at 4pm. I have a lot of meetings. If you know you have something due, do not wait until lunch time the day it is due to give it to me because it's unlikely it will be signed. If it's so important that you think I should work overtime, then please show me that you worked overtime before you waited PAST the last minute to give it to me. Otherwise, if it's not urgent to you, it's definitely not urgent to me."

My boss was out today, but regardless I'm SURE I'll hear about this behind closed doors tomorrow. I just don't see the point in rewarding bad behavior. And yet... I'm kind of not worried. Cuz, frankly, I rock. And I wore my 5-inch HarajukuLovers to work today and they gave me 4-5 inches of added height.. which made me feel really tall and I could loom... or flash my sexy ankle straps...

I love shoes... I do. I totally do. And amazingly, almost every man I bumped into today aged 30+ complimented me on them... I was very surprised. Maybe someone else has some insight into that.

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[dame-cordelia.livejournal.com]

Sassy woman, sassy shoes. Go for it!