If someone invites you over for dinner the first time AND it's not advertised as a potluck, how do you respond? My first question always is "what can I bring?" There are instances when I don't ask, because in some familiar relationships the response is always "nothing." When that's the case, I bring a bottle of vino or a 6-pack of beer.
At what point (if ever) do you offer to bring something without being prompted? I think right at the invite.
Is there some point when you invite them to your place or take them out? Yep, I try to. I don't keep score, and fear sometimes I fail miserably at the reciprocal thing. My life has been so frantic thanks to careers and school, it's gotten difficult sometimes.
When you invite someone over to your place for dinner, what do you expect? Be on time or early, but not too early. If you're family, and you come too early, that's okay... you'll just be put to work. :) Don't flake and not call. If something comes up, try to let us know in advance; but jeez, we all know life happens. If you're running late, call. Yes, I've been known to call when we're 5 minutes late... I don't expect others to be as freaky as we are, but make an effort. You don't have to bring anything unless it's potluck, but your offerings won't be rejected if you want to bring something. It's always okay to offer to help clean up. But if I turn you down, it's 'cause I'd rather be social away from the dishes, capice? And this is general: Always ask first before bringing someone I didn't specifically invite (and that includes kids). Sometimes I don't want to entertain the household, or your (general, again) cousin from out of town, or even your (really, still general!!!) kids. ;-) Spouses/partners get an automatic inclusion in the invite.
Do your guests offer to help clean up? Do you hope they will? Do you even notice if they do any sort of clean up tasks? (clear the table, help with dishes, etc) I'm always pleased as punch when my guests pitch in. It's usually not expected. And yes, I always notice.
What do you do about that when you go to someone else's house? I *always* offer, but if my host says no, then I back away. I have a dear friend who is pathological about allowing anyone in her kitchen. It freaks her out. I will still always offer to help her, but she knows it's because I'm wired that way. The funny thing is that she loves to help me out in my kitchen. Go figure.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-10-11 02:49 am (UTC)My first question always is "what can I bring?" There are instances when I don't ask, because in some familiar relationships the response is always "nothing." When that's the case, I bring a bottle of vino or a 6-pack of beer.
At what point (if ever) do you offer to bring something without being prompted?
I think right at the invite.
Is there some point when you invite them to your place or take them out?
Yep, I try to. I don't keep score, and fear sometimes I fail miserably at the reciprocal thing. My life has been so frantic thanks to careers and school, it's gotten difficult sometimes.
When you invite someone over to your place for dinner, what do you expect?
Be on time or early, but not too early. If you're family, and you come too early, that's okay... you'll just be put to work. :)
Don't flake and not call. If something comes up, try to let us know in advance; but jeez, we all know life happens. If you're running late, call. Yes, I've been known to call when we're 5 minutes late... I don't expect others to be as freaky as we are, but make an effort.
You don't have to bring anything unless it's potluck, but your offerings won't be rejected if you want to bring something.
It's always okay to offer to help clean up. But if I turn you down, it's 'cause I'd rather be social away from the dishes, capice?
And this is general: Always ask first before bringing someone I didn't specifically invite (and that includes kids). Sometimes I don't want to entertain the household, or your (general, again) cousin from out of town, or even your (really, still general!!!) kids. ;-) Spouses/partners get an automatic inclusion in the invite.
Do your guests offer to help clean up? Do you hope they will? Do you even notice if they do any sort of clean up tasks? (clear the table, help with dishes, etc)
I'm always pleased as punch when my guests pitch in. It's usually not expected. And yes, I always notice.
What do you do about that when you go to someone else's house?
I *always* offer, but if my host says no, then I back away. I have a dear friend who is pathological about allowing anyone in her kitchen. It freaks her out. I will still always offer to help her, but she knows it's because I'm wired that way. The funny thing is that she loves to help me out in my kitchen. Go figure.