fads suck; Clothing rant

[threadwalker]

I hate last years fads. I hate this years, too.

Here is my building winge on fashion, clothing and shopping

Last year (and previous years) lead to muffin tops; term for what happens when you wear jeans so low and so tight they squeeze the fat up and over the top of the waist band. Who in their freaking mind thinks that's attractive? Sure it looks fine on Callista Flockheart... she's got no fat. It may actually give her a curve or 2. The rest of us? I mean those with some lovin' to love? gag me. Pee-you-kee!

And what I coin the "suburban ho"-look. Blouse, super-tight capris made from same fabric you would make work slacks from and high heals. You get bonus ho-points for any or all of the following: ankle bracelet, ankle tatto, sheer blouse with contrasting colored bra. The "hottie" MILF-strutting mom crowd that uses our pre-school dresses like this. I just want to ask them the address for their trailer park and why they are wearing white before Memorial Day. Oh - by the way, why do you let your preschool daughter dress like Brittney Spears pre-buzz cut? Nevermind, that was a dumb question. Look at how you're dressed.

In an attempt to get a pair of jeans without spending a lot of money, I recently cruised over to Old Navy, who has in the past carried some decent jeans if I purchase the "at waist" stuff. (as opposed to the muffin-top enhancing low waist stuff). Lo and behold, the skinny leg jean is back. WTF???? I HATE those. I don't even know if they are skinny legged, low rise jeans or skinny legged normal waist. I put on a pair, hoping it wasn't as disasterous as I feared, and my brain melted when I looked. I don't remember the waistband, I was too horrified by how meaty my legs looked when you shrink wrap them in denim and add top stitching up the side.

I hate shopping for clothes. This is why. Designers are jerks. Why can't you just leave well-enough alone? Slightly flared below the knee is slimming. Skinny legged looks normal (lol) on people like Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger. Why are we sticking guy-jeans on women? Women are supposed to have higher percent fat than men. We are supposed to have certain curves. Stop enhancing the fat. That's NOT attractive. ARGH!!!!

I hate that I've had to buy clothes for work over the last few months and my options are "let's show off our flubber" or "let me see how super-cheap I can look". Now that I need some jeans, my new option is "shrink wrap me in denim". Ugh!!!!

Oh ... and clothing sizes are not standardized. did you think they were? ha!!!! Guess again. They are not. Manufacturers have been allowing the clothing to creap bigger because women who feel slim buy more clothes. For example... I have slacks for work. I bought some from the "hip" department at Macy's. The ones that "fit" right now have size tags that range from "7" to "10". They fit the same; feel the same; hang well; those jerks who put "7" are hoping I'll buy 2 more that say "7" in a euphoric daze where I celebrate being size "7".

Sorry you capitalistic goons, I'm not that out of touch with my reality.

Over and over, when I am shopping for clothes, I have to grab 3 different sizes in each item to find the one that fits. I can't trust to grab something my size because the stooopid clothing lines can't agree on that. Also, knowing that the tag is a big freaking lie just pisses me off. I feel manipulated. And I'll admit here that at the same time, I want to believe I'm a size "7" even though I know that I am not. .. Part of me is tempted by the illusion... I want to believe it. However, I happen to know I haven't been smaller than a size 10 since I was 20. So choke on my reality you capitalisic jerks who are trying to manipulate my money out of me.

Comments

[aastg.livejournal.com]

"muffin-top"????? HAHAHAHAHAHA Never heard that one before...HAHAHA

Yeah, I feel your ungruntlement. If I didn't clothes shop with my sister (who can spend a large amount of money in an amazingly short amount of time), I wouldn't wear anything but black t-shirts and jeans.

[dame-cordelia.livejournal.com]

You are so right. It's a real hassle to find clothes that fit and don't look trashy. My midriff is nobody's business.

In Nordstrom's the other day I must have tried on 25 pairs of shorts. And that was after I tried to eliminate the low riders. Not one of them fit. I was really annoyed.

So then I walked into Talbots - 2 doors down at the Maul - tried on 5 pairs and bought 3 of them. They had waistlines and room for hips and everything! And their prices were at least as reasonable as Nordy's.

[joycebre.livejournal.com]

I don't know if they still do this, but, it used to be that odd numbered sizes were 'junior sizes'. Cut for 'junior petite' women. Specifically cut for women shorter than 5'4". Of course they use a 5'7" fit model, but that's not the point. The point is that if you're taller than that, you should be wearing even sizes aka misses sizes - cut for women between 5'4" and 5'7". If you're taller than that, you should be wearing tall sizes, but almost no ones makes them any more. But if they're still doing the petite cut, stay away from it.
It won't help having to pick out 3 sizes of everything to take to the fitting room. It won't help with the appalling trashy-ho extra spandex choices. But it should narrow it down a little.
A personal shopper will help with the size dissonance.
Shopping at specialty stores like Talbots (mentioned by someone else), J. Jill, or other places will probably help too, with not only sizes, but the trash factor as well.

[mad-duchess.livejournal.com]

You forgot to mention that everything is ridiculously overpriced and incredibly poorly made as well. On my last trip to the mall as I left Nordstroms shaking my head in disgust and wondering who on earth bought and wore this crap, I took a few moments to look around at my fellow mall-goers. Oh. Question answered.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

Excellent point about the cheapness. I was ranting after midnight and fell asleep while typing. I woke up, posted and then crawled off to bed. I totally forgot to toss that in. Thanks for reminding me...

ditto on cheaply dressed mall-goers. ewwww!

[fighter-chick.livejournal.com]

Last week at a coffee shop I saw a 6-foot tall, height-weight proportionate woman wearing a pair of ultra-low rise jeans that would have been too small on me. More than an inch of crack was showing at the rear, and I found myself pathetically grateful not to have seen what she was showing in front. As it was, I think my eyes may have bled a little.

*sigh*

I was able to buy some nice, non-trashy, decently fitting clothes this year. (No jeans though.) Just don't ask me how much money I spent on them. :p I saved up for months, and I won't be clothes shopping again for a long, long time.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

BINGO!!! who cares what kind of g-string you wear? I don't want to see your butt crack or what you stuff in it.

haruph! fads suck. I think people must be brainwashed into wearing that crap. Maybe because the options are all so bad.

[j-i-m-r.livejournal.com]

I agree with aastg ... muffin tops is a great name for that look. I wish it would go away.
I hope that the UK is a fashion leader. I didn't see any of those while I was there. The fashion trend there was a lady-like (not slutty) display of cleavage. That works well on many more body types that muffin tops do.

[tusya1300.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmm...When I shop, I only purchase what I really, REALLY like on me. If there is even the smallest question in my mind about an item, I don't buy it. AND I too have always hated those low-rise things... EVEN the super skinny models don't look good in those, (IMHO) because I am not interested in seeing everyone else's underpants or cracks.

[catagon3.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I have an old pair of skinny leg pants that I can't wear anymore because my calves are too muscular.

I really hate shopping for pants. Take all the complaints and add that everything is proportioned for two more inches in the waist and three in the legs. Blech.

Of course, in addition to the muffin top effect, those low rise things make nearly everyone look like they have abnormally short legs.