Feedback welcome: on parenting
Jan. 24th, 2008 01:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threadwalkerMy current question:
I see a ton of teens getting out of high school with no idea what to do with their lives. They hate school, so they don't go to college. Or they go to Junior College and putter around there for 10 years or so. To me, they appear directionless and with no drive to do anything with their lives.
I want my kids to pick a career path or vocation, regardless whether it involved college (although I prefer them to go to college). I want them to grow up, move out, and be big people in the big-people world. How do I get my kids to choose a life path that doens't involve laying on my sofa watching TV or plugging into computer games and guzzling Purple Flrup(1)?
All thoughts and feedback welcome. Feel free to ramble. You don't need to be a parent to have an opinion or insights.
Later I'll post what I've already started doing. I suspect the soft-fuzzy folks who prefer to solve family conflict with cookies and hugs will think of my house as being run by the Boot-Camp Mom from Hell.
(1) Jimmy Neutron reference.
I see a ton of teens getting out of high school with no idea what to do with their lives. They hate school, so they don't go to college. Or they go to Junior College and putter around there for 10 years or so. To me, they appear directionless and with no drive to do anything with their lives.
I want my kids to pick a career path or vocation, regardless whether it involved college (although I prefer them to go to college). I want them to grow up, move out, and be big people in the big-people world. How do I get my kids to choose a life path that doens't involve laying on my sofa watching TV or plugging into computer games and guzzling Purple Flrup(1)?
All thoughts and feedback welcome. Feel free to ramble. You don't need to be a parent to have an opinion or insights.
Later I'll post what I've already started doing. I suspect the soft-fuzzy folks who prefer to solve family conflict with cookies and hugs will think of my house as being run by the Boot-Camp Mom from Hell.
(1) Jimmy Neutron reference.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 10:10 pm (UTC)2. Make them pay rent. Even if it is a token rent it makes them think about what they will need to do when they move out
3. Remember that they will do what they want to do. It does not matter what example you set or how often you explain the facts of life. If they want to make all the mistakes in the world that is what they will do.
Lastly remember that kids mature at different rates. Some are ready to move out and be on their own when they get out of High School. Some need more time. Kelvin needed more time. He is 23 years old but developmentally he is just coming out of his teens. He is actually on his last chance.
If he does not do what he needs to do this time, I will move him out. That means I will pack up all his stuff and turn his bedroom into my craft room. All his stuff will go in the garage. This includes the computer and his clothes. He can sleep on a air mattress but he will have to fill it every night as I am not going to be tripping over it during the day. I suspect that he will move out fairly quickly.