![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threadwalkerParenting post.
My daughter is pretty perceptive and most people don't realize it. I certainly forget she's listening and can piece things together.
Last night I was going through the process of tucking her into bed. I chase her upstairs and if I can catch her, I get to tickle her. Of course, if she hops into bed fast enough, it just means I have to come up with other excuses to tickle her.
We stampeded up the stairs and she launched into her bed, giggling and shrieking. The night light went on, the fan went on and I circled back to her where she's tucked in bed and I bounced her. One hand on her hip and one on her shoulder and I gently jounce her up and down, which makes her giggle more. I can't help laughing, too, and when I stopped I told her, "My daddy used to bounce me like this when he tucked me in and it made me laugh just like you did."
She stopped giggling and rolled over onto her back. Giving me a very serious look, she asked me, "Is that before he stopped liking you?"
My brain froze. Out of the mouths of babies. I thought I'd done a pretty good job of being vague about my dad and I usually redirect the conversation. Maybe my mom started some sort of conversation about him in front of her and I didn't squash it. Anyway, I had no idea what I was going to say. I opened my mouth and words fell out.
"You know how mommy twisted her knee last month and was on crutches? and how daddy's foot-owie keeps him from walking sometimes? And how when we get sick we can't play? My daddy was sick, but not in his body, he was sick in his thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, he didn't get better and he forgot how to love his family."
She pondered for a few moments, and then asked, "You mean his thoughts got broken?"
"Yes."
"So his thoughts about his family got broken and he didn't love them anymore."
"Yes, that's exactly what happened."
"Oh, Mommy, how sad for you! I love you and I'll never let that happen to my thoughts." She paused and then asked in all seriousness, "What kind of animals did your daddy like?"
Which became a new conversation. We snuggled some more and I found more excuses to tickle her. She challenged me by saying I could only tickle the top of her head and she wouldn't laugh. She lost that challenge. Afterall, I have a black belt in Tickle-Fu. And then one more kiss good night and I left.
I walked away marvelling at her.
My daughter is pretty perceptive and most people don't realize it. I certainly forget she's listening and can piece things together.
Last night I was going through the process of tucking her into bed. I chase her upstairs and if I can catch her, I get to tickle her. Of course, if she hops into bed fast enough, it just means I have to come up with other excuses to tickle her.
We stampeded up the stairs and she launched into her bed, giggling and shrieking. The night light went on, the fan went on and I circled back to her where she's tucked in bed and I bounced her. One hand on her hip and one on her shoulder and I gently jounce her up and down, which makes her giggle more. I can't help laughing, too, and when I stopped I told her, "My daddy used to bounce me like this when he tucked me in and it made me laugh just like you did."
She stopped giggling and rolled over onto her back. Giving me a very serious look, she asked me, "Is that before he stopped liking you?"
My brain froze. Out of the mouths of babies. I thought I'd done a pretty good job of being vague about my dad and I usually redirect the conversation. Maybe my mom started some sort of conversation about him in front of her and I didn't squash it. Anyway, I had no idea what I was going to say. I opened my mouth and words fell out.
"You know how mommy twisted her knee last month and was on crutches? and how daddy's foot-owie keeps him from walking sometimes? And how when we get sick we can't play? My daddy was sick, but not in his body, he was sick in his thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, he didn't get better and he forgot how to love his family."
She pondered for a few moments, and then asked, "You mean his thoughts got broken?"
"Yes."
"So his thoughts about his family got broken and he didn't love them anymore."
"Yes, that's exactly what happened."
"Oh, Mommy, how sad for you! I love you and I'll never let that happen to my thoughts." She paused and then asked in all seriousness, "What kind of animals did your daddy like?"
Which became a new conversation. We snuggled some more and I found more excuses to tickle her. She challenged me by saying I could only tickle the top of her head and she wouldn't laugh. She lost that challenge. Afterall, I have a black belt in Tickle-Fu. And then one more kiss good night and I left.
I walked away marvelling at her.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 12:24 am (UTC)An excellent and age-appropriate explanation on your part as well!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 12:42 am (UTC)Well done! A wonderful explanation.
Now all you'll have to do is reassure her that you are, luckily, immune to Dad's disease and will never, ever stop loving her!
(My adopted daughter was very sure that one day we, too, would give her up as her birth parents had. It took many years of loving to convince her that that could not happen, no matter how much she misbehaved, and she certainly did challenge us often in that regard.)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-02 02:21 am (UTC)Skillful
Date: 2009-04-02 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-03 04:14 am (UTC)And happy birthday, a bit late!