Feedback welcome: on teens and parents

I stopped in Safeway this morning and at the check-out, my clerk, "Nancy", was chatty and described that she woke up at 2 am, realized her 18 yr old was not home yet, and laid awake until 3 am waiting for him.

I made some comment about there being no reason for someone to be out until 3 am unless it's their night "off" or they work swing shift.

Here's what I heard from her:
1. He's 18.
2. He's home schooled because he screwed up in HS.
3. It's totally "on him" regarding how well he does in his studies, what time he comes home, and how he lives his life.
4. Her perspective is that expecting him to be home early is her expectation and she can't expect him to live according to her expectations. Her expectations are her own issue and not her sons and he has to make his own choices.

Nancy's stance is opposite from mine. (I reposted mine below the cut.)

Also in the news today, the state of Massachuesetts is voting on a bill to outlaw spanking (corporal punishment) in the home. If that passes, you can't occasionally swat your kids rear in your home without risk of going to jail.

Okay - feedback welcome. Even if you think I'm too "corporal" or stringent in my approach. This would NOT be the first time someone has told me I'm too strict. Parents and non-parents welcome to comment.

And to my lurkers who e-mail responses to me at work instead of setting up an LJ and posting your response... I think you should just set up the LJ. That way I won't forget to respond to your comments and you won't have to nudge me. And I can keep your responses with the original post for later percolation. In fact, I might start pasting your responses in and just asign a handle to you. That way I keep it all in one spot.

( my perspective )

Parenting Still Rocks

N is supposed to read a book every night. I think the teacher expects us to read a few books each night, but our books and stories are fairly thick, so I put a 30 minute time limit on the reading exercise. Frankly, even if we don't finish our story within 30 min, after 30 min, he can't concentrate anymore. If we get through something in less than 15, then we pull out a second book. So there it is, 20-30 minutes of reading each night and we aren't doing it at bedtime anymore, we are doing it right after we eat. I wonder if I'm doing this wrong? sigh. Any reading is good reading, right? Those are where my insecurities live.

Last night, after our meal, we snuggled under a blanket on the sofa and read "The Paperbag Princess". E made sure she was not left out and used me like a recliner. It's a ton of fun to snuggle with the kids on the sofa and read. N would struggle through a page, I'd supply the words that were outside his range, and then I'd re-read the page, making him chime in on the words he gets stuck on. I was thinking to myself as we finished up the story, this is the bestest ever. I can't believe how lucky I am.

I am very happy in my own world.

( On the otherhand, I'm not the home-manager that my mom was )