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Location: Garage
Dear Diary,
Today the beloved spouse asked me to help him clean out and organize the garage. At first I was unthrilled because it was his stuff, his mess, and I'm not keen on cleaning up after the cutest pack-rat in the world. And not just a pack-rat, but Mega-Extreme Pack Rat of Infinite Level of Experience with Defense Bonus against "Wife on Cleaning Mission" and Supreme Skill Set for "Backfill with Vengeance"... because those clean areas become jam full of stuff in no time flat.
We have dueled for decades. Litterally.
Then it dawned on me. "Invited to clean the garage" and "need my skills" were the phrases that were used. I cackled like a mad woman, racing to change into my Super Suit. Less than 5 minutes later I had my Suit of Garage Spelunking and +5 Trash Bags of Infinite Compression. I was ready to bring Order to Chaos!
An hour later...
Me, "What's this?" Waving chunk of wood.
Him, "That's mine, put it down."
Me, walking towards trash bag, "Doesn't look like it improves the quality of your life. I don't think you even knew you had it."
Him, "Ack! Woman! Give that to me!" and races over to grab it.
Me, trying to fight off his longer reach, "Nooooo! You are inhibiting my super powers. You are preventing me from bringing Order to Chaos."
Him, "give (grunt) it (grunt) to (grunt) me!" (We both note that my improved health has boosted my ability to resist!)
Me, "Nooooo.. what good is it anyway?"
Him, now with hands on chunk of wood, "It's Oak Laminate and I might make something with it."
Me, watching him walk away with chunk of wood, "Make? You don't "make." Your power is "pack rat" and "foil spouse", not "make". Humph. You are messing with my powers. Are you sure you're not really a villian master mind in disguise?"
Him, successfully putting wood out of my reach until I dig out the ladder, smiles, "You're so cute. I'm so glad you're out here helping me."
Smoochies.
My mom peaked in at one point (F was off on a dump run). She complimented us on how good it looked and I burst forth with a mad-genius laugh of great magnitude. I couldn't help it. Then she cackled with glee. Both of us stood there laughing and cackling for several minutes. No, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in some regards. Then she invited me to come over to her place right before X-mas to help prep for visitors. (Indeed, and I'll have my trusty trash backs and a truck for dump runs and a 2nd paper shredder!)
8 hours later, we've made 2 dump runs and much progress. I'm shredding billing statements that go back to 1999... yes, no shit, almost 10 years old. I mentioned his super-power was Pack-Rat? (Found a b-day card w/ $$ and decided that was my reward for patiently openingn every envelope!) Although he really needs to stop getting into new "games". Between Pirates, Hero Clix, the role playing stuff, the props for Steam Punk, etc and all the other stuff out there, his power of pack-rat is exceeding the maximum capacity of the garage. I'm going to try and Craig-list all our strollers and stuff between now and 12/20. Whatever I can't sell goes to Goodwill. I'm done storing that stuff for the next random person who might have a baby.
At the end, where everything was returned to the garage, we surveyed our awesomeness. Woot. We rocked. Then Beloved Spouse leans over, "I hear that women are turned on by men who clean," and raised just one eyebrow.
Me, *blink*. "Indeed, you are correct. Men who clean, cook and have minty breath. Those are all sure-fire winners."
Fortunately, there is more opportunity for cleaning, too.
Yes.... much headway has been made. And I've made a mental list of the other stuff that I will target on our next purge. He thinks he wants to keep it but I'm pretty sure that in 8-10 months he'll have forgotten it exists. If he doesn't remember he has it, he can't miss it... muh ha ha!
Dear Diary,
Today the beloved spouse asked me to help him clean out and organize the garage. At first I was unthrilled because it was his stuff, his mess, and I'm not keen on cleaning up after the cutest pack-rat in the world. And not just a pack-rat, but Mega-Extreme Pack Rat of Infinite Level of Experience with Defense Bonus against "Wife on Cleaning Mission" and Supreme Skill Set for "Backfill with Vengeance"... because those clean areas become jam full of stuff in no time flat.
We have dueled for decades. Litterally.
Then it dawned on me. "Invited to clean the garage" and "need my skills" were the phrases that were used. I cackled like a mad woman, racing to change into my Super Suit. Less than 5 minutes later I had my Suit of Garage Spelunking and +5 Trash Bags of Infinite Compression. I was ready to bring Order to Chaos!
An hour later...
Me, "What's this?" Waving chunk of wood.
Him, "That's mine, put it down."
Me, walking towards trash bag, "Doesn't look like it improves the quality of your life. I don't think you even knew you had it."
Him, "Ack! Woman! Give that to me!" and races over to grab it.
Me, trying to fight off his longer reach, "Nooooo! You are inhibiting my super powers. You are preventing me from bringing Order to Chaos."
Him, "give (grunt) it (grunt) to (grunt) me!" (We both note that my improved health has boosted my ability to resist!)
Me, "Nooooo.. what good is it anyway?"
Him, now with hands on chunk of wood, "It's Oak Laminate and I might make something with it."
Me, watching him walk away with chunk of wood, "Make? You don't "make." Your power is "pack rat" and "foil spouse", not "make". Humph. You are messing with my powers. Are you sure you're not really a villian master mind in disguise?"
Him, successfully putting wood out of my reach until I dig out the ladder, smiles, "You're so cute. I'm so glad you're out here helping me."
Smoochies.
My mom peaked in at one point (F was off on a dump run). She complimented us on how good it looked and I burst forth with a mad-genius laugh of great magnitude. I couldn't help it. Then she cackled with glee. Both of us stood there laughing and cackling for several minutes. No, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in some regards. Then she invited me to come over to her place right before X-mas to help prep for visitors. (Indeed, and I'll have my trusty trash backs and a truck for dump runs and a 2nd paper shredder!)
8 hours later, we've made 2 dump runs and much progress. I'm shredding billing statements that go back to 1999... yes, no shit, almost 10 years old. I mentioned his super-power was Pack-Rat? (Found a b-day card w/ $$ and decided that was my reward for patiently openingn every envelope!) Although he really needs to stop getting into new "games". Between Pirates, Hero Clix, the role playing stuff, the props for Steam Punk, etc and all the other stuff out there, his power of pack-rat is exceeding the maximum capacity of the garage. I'm going to try and Craig-list all our strollers and stuff between now and 12/20. Whatever I can't sell goes to Goodwill. I'm done storing that stuff for the next random person who might have a baby.
At the end, where everything was returned to the garage, we surveyed our awesomeness. Woot. We rocked. Then Beloved Spouse leans over, "I hear that women are turned on by men who clean," and raised just one eyebrow.
Me, *blink*. "Indeed, you are correct. Men who clean, cook and have minty breath. Those are all sure-fire winners."
Fortunately, there is more opportunity for cleaning, too.
Yes.... much headway has been made. And I've made a mental list of the other stuff that I will target on our next purge. He thinks he wants to keep it but I'm pretty sure that in 8-10 months he'll have forgotten it exists. If he doesn't remember he has it, he can't miss it... muh ha ha!
