Things on my mind
May. 21st, 2009 11:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threadwalkerAlso during today's ride I found myself thinking about the "meanies". I found myself reflecting on one representative of the Meanie Tribe, but I think these are common traits. We all know members of the Meanie Tribe and there's no need to name any names since even if we know different ones, they have lots in common.
It seems to me that they are jealous and insecure. They want you to want what they have; they want to be admired to the point that others would emulate them. Instead of being happy for your success, they find your flaws and find reason to describe your success as a misfortune. They want to cast the world in their own image; if we are not playing by their rules, then we are wrong, bad and will shortly come to no good. They are not generous; acts of generousity come with invisible strings and expectations of either gratefulness or obligation. They don't seem to be pleased with anyone besides themselves and one or two BFFs who are impressed by the Meanie, flawed and tolerable due to the flaws. Usually they've "been there and done it first" or are "best friends with the most famous shiny person who's doing it better than you (us)"; yes, name dropping is a necessary skill to the Meanie Tribe because if judged by who and what they are, they might seem kind of woeful. They need to steal some of the shine off of better and more accomplished people and then behave as if it's their shine-by-right. If they are popular, they have probably gained a cult of lackeys who have bought into the false glamour. The power of belief is an amazing thing and even if someone has no legitimate right to think themselves King of the World or Queen of All She Surveys, a staunch crowd of sycophants will go a long way to cementing that image in the Meanie's own mind. And woe to the person who says the Empress's dress isn't period. (LOL)
I think Jane Austen wrote about this tribe and usually the Meanie did not triumph. The Meanie didn't necessarily come to a bad end, but the Heroine was (IMO) usually a foil of the meanie and had to go through the process of expunging the Meanie from her life. Maybe Jane Austen 4eceived some poor treatment at the hands of Meanies and was getting even by revealing their spiteful natures in her publications. Ah HA! There we have it. Jane Austen wrote about it, so it must be true. (lol)
I spent my bike ride reviewing and maybe even reliving the slanders, lies and two-faced behaviour of one particular Meanie and I felt sad. I didn't realize she was a member of the Meanie Tribe at first. My first inkling was when I overheard the meanie tell one of my BFFs that I have to spend money on my kids in order to compensate for being a working mom and not having enough time to nurture them and show affection. At the time I was shocked, then I think I was hurt for a few minutes and then I felt sorry for the Meanie. I know that I'm better as a working mom than a stay-at-home mom and I know that my kids get a lot of valuable life skills from school and day-care. I hoped that I could show her that working moms are just as good moms as stay-at-home moms. To me, the key was to figure out what works best for you and then to run with it with parenting as well as life in general. There is no one set of rules that works for everyone; I believe we all need to walk our own path.
Eventually my Meanie friend dumped me. I think that since I live my life according to my rules, I am not interested in conforming to someone else's world view nor am I going to turn myself into someone's lackey, I was probably a constant rub against her faith in her own superior way. Nope - I'm not Lackey Material. The Meanie has to keep moving until they've built a cult of fans, so non-Lackeys like myself tend to be discarded sooner or later.
I think it's just sad that there are people who are closed-minded and mean. I think having more love in your life is better and that "mean" blocks the love whereas "acceptance, forgiveness, and patience" build love. Even though I pity da Meanies, and I will always be nice to them; who knows, someday one may have a life-changing event and realize they've led a life of Mean. I always want to be able to give someone the chance to grow and change. I know that I appreciate those who've allowed me to grow and change.
On the otherhand, I am tremendously rich in friends and family. Rich beyond measure. Infact, the bike-ride is a memory jogger for those friendships. But this was plenty long, so I'm cutting it short.
So that's what I've been pondering. To summarize: Mean People Suck
P.S. On the last bit of the Wildcat Climb, I got passed by a jogger. That was hysterical. Although she wasn't any ol' jogger; her legs were more muscular than anything I've seen in my Body Building/Fitness magazines. But still... I chuckled.
It seems to me that they are jealous and insecure. They want you to want what they have; they want to be admired to the point that others would emulate them. Instead of being happy for your success, they find your flaws and find reason to describe your success as a misfortune. They want to cast the world in their own image; if we are not playing by their rules, then we are wrong, bad and will shortly come to no good. They are not generous; acts of generousity come with invisible strings and expectations of either gratefulness or obligation. They don't seem to be pleased with anyone besides themselves and one or two BFFs who are impressed by the Meanie, flawed and tolerable due to the flaws. Usually they've "been there and done it first" or are "best friends with the most famous shiny person who's doing it better than you (us)"; yes, name dropping is a necessary skill to the Meanie Tribe because if judged by who and what they are, they might seem kind of woeful. They need to steal some of the shine off of better and more accomplished people and then behave as if it's their shine-by-right. If they are popular, they have probably gained a cult of lackeys who have bought into the false glamour. The power of belief is an amazing thing and even if someone has no legitimate right to think themselves King of the World or Queen of All She Surveys, a staunch crowd of sycophants will go a long way to cementing that image in the Meanie's own mind. And woe to the person who says the Empress's dress isn't period. (LOL)
I think Jane Austen wrote about this tribe and usually the Meanie did not triumph. The Meanie didn't necessarily come to a bad end, but the Heroine was (IMO) usually a foil of the meanie and had to go through the process of expunging the Meanie from her life. Maybe Jane Austen 4eceived some poor treatment at the hands of Meanies and was getting even by revealing their spiteful natures in her publications. Ah HA! There we have it. Jane Austen wrote about it, so it must be true. (lol)
I spent my bike ride reviewing and maybe even reliving the slanders, lies and two-faced behaviour of one particular Meanie and I felt sad. I didn't realize she was a member of the Meanie Tribe at first. My first inkling was when I overheard the meanie tell one of my BFFs that I have to spend money on my kids in order to compensate for being a working mom and not having enough time to nurture them and show affection. At the time I was shocked, then I think I was hurt for a few minutes and then I felt sorry for the Meanie. I know that I'm better as a working mom than a stay-at-home mom and I know that my kids get a lot of valuable life skills from school and day-care. I hoped that I could show her that working moms are just as good moms as stay-at-home moms. To me, the key was to figure out what works best for you and then to run with it with parenting as well as life in general. There is no one set of rules that works for everyone; I believe we all need to walk our own path.
Eventually my Meanie friend dumped me. I think that since I live my life according to my rules, I am not interested in conforming to someone else's world view nor am I going to turn myself into someone's lackey, I was probably a constant rub against her faith in her own superior way. Nope - I'm not Lackey Material. The Meanie has to keep moving until they've built a cult of fans, so non-Lackeys like myself tend to be discarded sooner or later.
I think it's just sad that there are people who are closed-minded and mean. I think having more love in your life is better and that "mean" blocks the love whereas "acceptance, forgiveness, and patience" build love. Even though I pity da Meanies, and I will always be nice to them; who knows, someday one may have a life-changing event and realize they've led a life of Mean. I always want to be able to give someone the chance to grow and change. I know that I appreciate those who've allowed me to grow and change.
On the otherhand, I am tremendously rich in friends and family. Rich beyond measure. Infact, the bike-ride is a memory jogger for those friendships. But this was plenty long, so I'm cutting it short.
So that's what I've been pondering. To summarize: Mean People Suck
P.S. On the last bit of the Wildcat Climb, I got passed by a jogger. That was hysterical. Although she wasn't any ol' jogger; her legs were more muscular than anything I've seen in my Body Building/Fitness magazines. But still... I chuckled.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 07:42 pm (UTC)All of what you said has truth in many if not all of life's situations. Life is too short to play those kinds of games. So, live life to it's fullest and enjoy those you love and surround yourself with good friends!
Now, where did those Lackeys run off to?????
no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 03:24 pm (UTC):-D
no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 10:15 pm (UTC)It's only 32 miles (or so) but there is A LOT of climbing.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-26 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 08:07 pm (UTC)I'm glad you've never needed someone else's approval to be who you are or someone's worship to define yourself. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 08:12 pm (UTC)Well, remember when you are headed uphill that the jogger had only herself to carry, while a cyclist is fighting the wheels that want to roll backwards.
She's not going to pass you going down when gravity is on your side!
Don't think about the meanies on your next ride, think about how great the bird-life up there is. How many species can you identify?
no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 03:25 pm (UTC)I do enjoy the beauty of the ride, though. It's very therapeutic.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-22 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 09:32 pm (UTC)I had a reconciliation with a meanie recently. I received a freind request on Facebook out of the blue from this woman I hadn't spoken to in 25 years and didn't want to. We had been default friends in elementary school because she lived across the street. We had a massive falling out in Jr. High because she was just plain mean. I was wary about firending her back, but the first message I got from her was a touching and heartfelt apology for how she had treated me and my family. She thinks it was abuse by her father (who admitted to beating her and her sister with a belt) that made her turn her anger inwards and be so mean. She says she has grown a lot and worked through many of her problems. She is now very religious and has a husband and three children and seems happy.
I was astonished. I accepted her apology and it felt great to let that old grudge go.
So yes, mean people suck, but apparently some of them can grow out of it. I wish your ex-friend luck in this regard.
You. Somebody's lackey. Hahahahahaha!
no subject
Date: 2009-05-21 10:23 pm (UTC)Mean people suck.
Date: 2009-05-21 11:42 pm (UTC)Re: Mean people suck.
Date: 2009-05-22 03:24 pm (UTC):-D