10 hrs of sleep later...

[threadwalker]

wow! I feel great!! Need to get rolling in a few. But I've got some more thoughts from the reunion I'm chewing on. I need to jot this down so I can look at it later and turn it over.

The difference between who we said we wanted to be and who we are.

I went to an all-women college prep high school. In 1987, of 140 graduates something like 130+ went to college afterwards. I hear that's a high rate, but I'm not going to exert myself to look up the statistics on it. Our class was toted as being statistically more academically advanced than any other class in decades based on AP testing, national academic awards, etc. Personally, I didn't participate in that stuff because my parents weren't interested. But the teachers sure were impressed.

We were told everyday that we could change the world and be whomever we wanted to be. I believed it. My classmates believed it. We were so fired up. They talked about law degrees, becoming judges, doctors, politicians, teachers, raising kids, becoming pro-athletes, etc.

Saturday night the woman who'd been the student body pres got up on a chair and gave a little speach. "Rock on! Red Barons! Rock on!"

(FYI: Our class mascot was the "Red Baron" and it was the age of rockers with big-hair and spandex. Yeah - someone was feeling nostalgic.)

Then she goes on to say some words of welcome and then the universe tilted. She said something like, "I don't think anyone can beat so-and-so, she has 5 kids."

"Oooohhhh, ahhhhhh," came from the crowd.

Me: Huh? WTF? when did we define ourselves by our interest or ability to produce offspring? I didn't realize the pop-quiz on "success" 20 years later would be "how many kids did you have." I may have actually said that out loud. I know I said something because I got a few "looks" from gals next to me.

Someone else yelled, "No, so-and-so has 8 kids."
(I roll my eyes)
The room cheers.
(I stare in disbelief).

Me: Were they passing out coolaid at the door?

So 20 years later the message is that success is related to having kids. That seems so sad to me. Being a mom is great, but it's only one thing that I do and having more kids is not necessarily a "better" thing. What about the women who don't want kids? Or can't have kids? I was offended on their behalf. I felt like a foreigner and wanted to run home to my girlfriends and get a reality check.

I don't understand what happened between then and now. Or maybe it's me. And that's what I'm percolating on.

Comments

ah-ha!

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

I think you may have a point here. Quite a few of them became home-makers or stay at home moms (what's the PC term for that these days? *shrug*) when they had their first kid. I know that one of the reasons we stopped at 2 kids was expense.

Food for thought.